Bloke stood at my counter last week with his chinos puddled around his trainers like he was wading through a puddle of them, and every time he laughed he reached down and pulled the waistband tighter. That’s it. That’s my entire thesis. He’d sized up “for comfort” based on two measurements he assumed were everything—length and waist—and got both entirely wrong without stressing about the two things that actually do matter. We’re all taught to look at the same two areas when we’re scrutinising chinos in the mirror; waist and hem and they’re probably the last two things I’ll check.
**The waist isn’t lying to you, but it’s not telling you everything either**
The waist measurement of a pair of chinos is the one thing that’s almost always correct, and the one thing that nobody trusts. Seen customers hold up a 34inch waist to their natural waist decide it looks small and ask for a 36 “just to be safe”.
Nine times out of ten that 34 WILL be perfect and now they’re stood there with four inches of fabric pooling at their chest every time they sit down.
Chinos don’t stretch like jeans, there’s no spandex pulling at the seams to forgive you if you guess wrong. The vast majority aren’t made of stretch cotton anymore either, you’re looking at a cotton twill with maybe two percent elastane if you’re lucky. They either fit or they don’t and that tag number is more accurate than most give it credit for.
No-one bothers to check the one thing that causes the pools of fabric and waist-tugging; rise. Low rise. Mid rise. However a brand decides to sell it that season determines the fit through your waistband and the whole leg as it hangs off you, and it varies wildly more than waist measurement does between brands. I’ve measured two pairs from the same label last year, same stated waist size of 34, one had a 11 inch rise and the other was 9.5. That’s not been a typo either, SAME BRAND, SAME(size) RESULTING IN TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT GARMENTS ON THE BODY; one comfortably bunching under your belly button, the other giving you tightinnie britches that nobody’s asked for since suede became cool again. That half inch difference in rise is the difference between chinos that fit correctly and chinos that make you feel like you’re bracing for a tsunami, but instead of printing it on the tag somewhere helpful, you just have to guess by trying them on and feeling where the waistband lands.
Another spot everyone ignores because they’re so busy eyeing the waistband number is the seat. A pair of chinos can be dead on with their waist measurement and still tighten up uncomfortably across your backside as soon as you sit down, because that pattern was drafted for someone with a far thinner seat than you and that isn’t a sizing problem, that’s a cut problem. Going up a waist will not fix it, it’ll just give you more waist to balloon around your untouched seat. Literally spent hours watching customers try pants in size after size attempting to resolve a seat issue by going up in waist when nothing was changing. If you’ve got ANY sort of rear-end to your figure, and yep we all know half the country that does, you want to be checking yourself out in that department specifically, sitting down in the dressing room rather than just flicking from foot to foot in front of the mirror.
**The length we all obsess over is actually the easiest to fix and least important decision**
Length. People fret about it more than anything else and it’s the one thing you can actually adjust after purchase when you don’t love how it looks for about ten quid at your local tailors if you even care enough to bother. Full break, half break, no break, socks showing. Words, so many words we have to describe how our trousers fall around our shoes and guys will STAND there overthinking that like it’s set in stone. It’s not. Hem length is literally the easiest thing to not worry about when youre shopping because it’s the easiest thing to fix should you not like it. Everything else about fit is nailed when those scissors hit that thread, length is a 5 minute conversation with your local person who owns an overlocker.
What you can’t adjust anywhere else but during the purchasing process is the taper through thigh and knee. This is where pants REALLY start to fuck you over if you don’t get it right and there’s no real changing it once you leave the store. Taking in a leg from knee to hem tightens the entire silhouette of your trouser and you’ll find most tailors wont touch them because it’s not worth the price you’d pay compared to just buying a pair that fit in the first place. Too much room through your thigh and your ankles pinch causing pants that look oddly balloon legged and have that “something’s not right” feel about them even if you can’t put your finger on what. Too slim through the thigh and you’ve got bulging seams by the time you’ve walked to the bar, not to mention a massively uncomfortable ride if you’ve got any sort of arse to speak of and are required to sit down for work. Yes I’ve done this. Bought a pair of skinny jeans that were too tight through the thigh despite being my usual size because they were cheap and now cried over them instead of returned them.
Quick aside, spent a good half of this rant irritated at brands not giving us proper info on rise and seat so want to make sure and shout out to the brands that do. Picked up a pair from Paul smith last winter because they were actually kind enough to print the rise measurement on the label. Not “regular fit” or “rise: regular”, FUCKING RISE IN NUMBERS NEXT TO THE WAIST. Tried them on expecting the same game of guessing games and they hit my waist exactly how that number said they would.
If more brands did this simple shit it wouldn’t be anthing to talk about so buyer beware and don’t support companies who make you guess.
Ok so youre stood in a changing room now, what do you look at?
Completely ignore the hem, wash your worries down the drain because it can be altered AND it doesn’t matter what length your pants are up until you get them home. Check your waistband sitting upright, not sucking everything in. Sitting down. Take a few steps, does the knee drag? Does the thigh puff? That guy at my counter bought pants with too small of a rise, didn’t realise because he was fixated on waist size. He needed a higher rise and a shorter length; in that order. Got both of those right and the tugging through his waistband disappeared because his pants were now FITTING him, instead of him attempting to fit into them.
