I’ve thought longer about how long a scarf should be than I probably have about most of my utility bills. I’m not proud of that either. I have a drawer in my flat. The second one down is basically a scarf morgue at this point, four or five scarves that looked amazing on the stall/hanger but then in reality they were either choking me by lunchtime or draping so far down I looked like we were filming A Christmas Carol and nobody told Jamie I wasn’t available. I’ve even measured scarves on a tape measure whilst standing in a cubicle at the Barras Market because at that point I just couldn’t trust my eyes anymore. So when people have asked me how to correctly size and tie one of these things I have opinions on.
And they’re not the handy chart answer you’ll see below everywhere else.
No siree.
The fabric matters more than length alone will dictate
The thing you never hear when someone’s listing off “you want something around 60-70 inches” like it’s written in the sky. Different materials weigh differently so a 60inch scarf in silk drapes very differently to a 60inch scarf in wool. Wool has more body to it, where silk just falls off you. Literally. It slips and flows and pools around your lap in ways that devour inches you thought you had. I found a thick, almost blanket weight wool scarf on a rail at my local Sunday market years ago. Hidden about halfway down behind a mountain of identical looking fleeces, the kind of scarf where you almost don’t bother looking because it looks like junk from waist height. Got it home and when it was washed up the supposed ‘standard length’ wrapped around my neck and sat like a child’s version of a toga because it was so heavy. One loose wrap and you’re done. Where that fabric weighs enough that you don’t need excess to get the job done. Cotton? A thin wool blend? Same length and you’ll find yourself two wraps short and fluttering all over the place like you’re trying to flag down a taxi with your neck.
This is especially important for guys because unlike actual wraps or fashion knots we’ve only got so many styling maneuvers. Loop. Overhand knot. Pretty much the pinnacle of our scarf game on an average Tuesday. A loop needs enough fabric to wrap around your neck twice with some excess hanging out on each side that actually looks intentional. An overhand knot at your front (don’t pretend you know how to do one of these yet, I didn’t until someone demonstrated at a market stall and I realised how stupidly easy it was) needs more than the loop because now you’re feeding fabric into a knot. What you’re really looking for is a ratio between the inches and how much it weighs in your hands. Lift that scarf up before you buy it. Feel how heavy it is. Not how long the tag says it is, but how thick and weighty it feels, because a heavy wool scarf at 55 inches will trump a 70 inch curling marathon scarf any day of the week when it comes to actually doing the neck loop thing properly.
The way you wear it matters more than high street assumes
The second major thing that affects your ideal scarf length is how you actually wear it. A retailer will understandably assume you’ll wear your scarf one way, because let’s face it high street sales folk are not getting paid enough to quiz you on where you’re taking your cute new scarf today. But are you just popping to the shops? Or are you outside waiting for a bus in January getting obliterated by wind being fun from the Clyde? Do you tuck your scarf into your coat? God I do that most days because fuck watching them flap around frankly. If that’s you. You want something on the shorter side that looks snappy when it’s in the collar, too much length and it’ll bunch up underneath and you’ll look like someone popped the keys to Narnia in your jacket. But if you’re one of those people who wears it open and flowing over your jacket, you’ll need a longer, more drapey scarf to avoid looking like someone gave you a kiddie scarf and told you to sulk.
I realised this YEARS too late with another dreamboat scarf I picked up in the same place. OLDFRESH MARTDale Market if you want to see. An absolute beauty. Herringbone pattern.
Got it home and because that’s how I always wore it…. my loop was too long. Flowy scarves don’t look good tucked in, unless you’re going for that ‘homeless hipster’ look and trust me I did that enough in college you don’t need to pay for it too.
Years of wearing it wrong made me doubt that scarf wasn’t suited to me. Should’ve listened to my instincts. The second I let it loose and flow instead of forcing a tiny version of my usual loop it looked fucking perfect. Like it was made to grace my neck.
Moral of the story? This is going to be less helpful than the chart but here we are. Stop looking for a one-size-fits-all number, because fun things like fabric and coat style and personal preference mean it just doesn’t exist. Decide if you’re a tosser or a dragger, pick the length to suit how you wear it not what you see in a store, and then worry about where that length actually sits. Flip that order around and you’ll save yourself a shitload of “why do I have fucking loads of scarves and still hate winter” disappointment.
